


Desire

by lobstergirl



Series: Of Darkness and Silence [10]
Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Kylux - Freeform, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-12
Updated: 2016-06-12
Packaged: 2018-07-14 13:26:01
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,050
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7173677
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lobstergirl/pseuds/lobstergirl





	Desire

Hux has changed. Ben sees it the instant he lays eyes on him. His eyes are as cool as they’ve always been and he still speaks in his brisk and precise manner. But his icy arrogance is gone and he’s no longer rigid, no longer tense. He is calm and collected and he moves with a controlled grace that Ben has never seen on him.

He knows his transition was a lot easier than Hux’. He’s been given the chance to start his new life in the company and under the tutelage of someone who loves him despite all that’s happened, and he’s returned in the company of someone whose authority is questioned by no-one. Hux has had no such help and yet, here he is. He speaks at eye level with the senior officers of the Resistance and while they may not like him, much less approve of his past, he’s gained their respect. It shows in their faces when they listen to him.

Across the room, their eyes meet and lock. The pale green in Hux’ eyes seems to intensify the instant he spots him and although he doesn’t move a single facial muscle, he smiles. Only Hux can smile without smiling. It’s like sunshine on Ben’s soul and he stands up a bit straighter. It’s been such a long time but it’s still there, that thing that’s grown between them.

Ben lets his eyes glide over Hux’ body and wishes everybody out of the room. He wants him so much that for a moment everything else fades into the background. He itches to touch. And taste. Hux has lost his sickly pallor and although he’s not exactly tanned, his skin looks warm and has a healthy glow to it. He still wears his hair short and with neatly trimmed edges but it’s no longer slicked back. And the beard? Ben is trying very hard not to stare. Well, it’s not precisely a beard, not yet, it’s more like stubble. As if Hux hasn’t shaved in a week. Two weeks. Whatever. It looks like something Ben wants to feel on his skin.

Then he joins him for the interpretation of the retrieved data. They’ve done this countless times before and their minds click with practiced ease. Hux covers the military aspects and suggests strategies, Ben delivers the political and cultural background information of the area they’re looking at.

Out of the corner of his eye he sees his mother exchange glances with his uncle but right now he couldn’t care less what they think.

He’s all tuned in to the man standing next to him and his mind registers the smallest detail. There’s an unfamiliar lilt to Hux’ speech. It’s barely noticeable but it’s there. Where does it come from? He can’t place it. Hux’ knuckles are bruised. Has he been in a fight? There’s freckles on his nose and cheeks that definitely weren’t there before. Does he spend a lot of time outside? Are his shoulders freckled, too? _Please let him have freckled shoulders._ When he reaches to point out an irregularity in the holographic simulation, his shirt rides up a little and reveals a strip of pale skin. Lust shoots through Ben. He wants to lick that patch of skin. Bury his hands in Hux’ ginger hair, force his head back and bite that spot between his Adam’s apple and the hollow of his throat, exactly where he likes it. He’ll leave a mark this time, too. He wants to, no, _needs_ to be in him. Now. He’s waited for so long. He doesn’t think he can wait for much longer.

But wait he must. The next few hours are crucial. So wait he does.

******

When they’re finally alone, an unexpected shyness overcomes him. All of a sudden he’s not so sure what to do with himself and so he stands in the middle of Hux’ small living room area and looks around, uncertain what to say or do.

The interior is very… Hux. Very few articles of furniture, no decorative items, absolutely no clutter. It looks like just another living space, another standard issue quarter on any military station. Except for the dazzling array of colours. There’s flowers and plants by the windows, on the small shelf, on the floor near the narrow sofa. They’re orange and blue and yellow and red and pink, and one corner of the room sports all shades of green. It looks like a meditation area. In its centre stands a small table and on it –

“Look at your tree,” Ben says, surprised. “It’s healed!”

“Yes,” Hux replies. He stands very close. “And look at you. You’re bloody gorgeous.”

And he kisses him.

Everything in Ben’s body ignites. He cups Hux' face with his hands and licks into his mouth, sucks on his tongue, moans when Hux rocks against him. They shuffle awkwardly through the room towards a door, unable to stop kissing, unwilling to let go of one another. Hux leads the way and Ben follows. Or is it the other way round? Does it matter? He shrugs out of his vest, lets it fall to the floor. Just why can’t he lose that damned tunic without breaking the kiss? His hands glide under Hux’ shirt while Hux fumbles to open the door. Hard muscle shifts beneath Ben’s hands and his eyes fly open.

“What the…” he manages and rucks up Hux’ shirt, pulls it up and over his head. He steps back and stares.

Hux has always been in good physical shape, with a trim, hard body. Now? He’s muscled up. He’s not added extra bulk, like Ben has. He’s become wiry. No, not wiry, lean. He’s lean. Tough, with a defined musculature. There’s a scar on his right shoulder that Ben has never seen before and another across his ribcage. There’s bruises, too, in various stages of fading. Hux looks every bit as dangerous as Ben knows he is and Ben pounces on him, pushes him through the open door and onto the bed.

He’s spent endless months learning how to control his impulses, to rein in his temper, to not give in to temptation. He’s not going to rein anything in now because if he has to restrain himself any longer, he will surely burst… with everything. _Sorry, Uncle Luke._ And so he gives in to this temptation, licks and bites to his heart’s content, leaves marks on Hux’ skin and kisses his way from one delightfully freckled shoulder to the other, nibbles and bites his way from Hux’ throat down and across his chest, teases his pale, pink nipples to attention and follows the ginger trail that points the way to where he wants to be.

But Hux gives as good as he gets. When he can’t take Ben’s teasing any longer, he flips him over and onto his back. His vengeance is sweet and cruel in equal measure. His stubble rasps across Ben’s skin and it’s even better than he has hoped it would be. Ben fists the sheets and groans from behind clenched teeth.

“Let me hear you,” Hux murmurs against his thighs. His breath tickles the sensitive skin and Ben gives a tight whimper. “Nobody around here cares and I’m no longer under observation.” Then he swallows him whole. Ben cries out.

This is so much better than any dream he has conjured up during his long, miserable, lonely nights. Pumping into his own spit-slicked hand doesn’t even come close. Hux’ mouth is hot and wet and when he swallows around him, white heat shoots through Ben’s body. Then he reaches down to grab a fistful of Hux’ hair, stopping him.

“I want –,” he pants. “Please, I need –”

Hux looks up and pulls back with maddening slowness. Ben’s cock leaves Hux’ mouth with an obscene sound and flops down and against Ben’s stomach.

“Yes?” Hux asks and wipes the corners of his mouth. “What is it you need?"

They both know what it is he wants but Hux looks at him out of his pale eyes, waiting for him to say it.

“I want you to ride me,” he says and pushes himself up on his elbows. “Think you can still do that, freckles?”

Hux narrows his eyes.

“What did you just call me?”

“Freckles,” Ben repeats, grinning.

“You insolent brat.”

 _Insolenttt. Brattt._ He still does that and Ben still likes it. Likes it a lot, in fact. His cock twitches. 

Hux gets on his hands and knees and starts crawling towards him.

“You will regret this. You know that, yes?”

“Mhm,” Ben says. It’s all he can say because now Hux is straddling his thighs and leans forward to fumble for something. Their cocks rub against each other and he shifts a little. Much better view that way.

When Hux finds what he’s been looking for, he straightens and hands him a bottle.

“Lube up and get in position. Think you can still do that?”

He certainly can. Quickly, too. But when he is finally all the way inside, he clenches his fists.

“Wait,” he says in a thick voice. “Don’t move yet. If you move now, it’ll be over in a heartbeat.”

“I know,” Hux replies. He sounds equally strained.

Ben forces himself to lie still, feasts his eyes on Hux’s body instead. His chest rises and falls with the deep breaths he takes to bring himself back under control, his hands lie on his thighs that are spread wide and offer an excellent view of his fully engorged cock and his perfect, heavy balls. The prominent vein on the underside of the thick shaft and the glistening tip speak volumes.

“Like what you see?”

Ben can only nod. There is not enough blood left in his brain to think of a more appropriate word than ‘like’.

“Good,” Hux says with a faint smile. “Then look.”

And he starts riding him. And it’s a good thing Ben doesn’t have to be quiet. He can’t. Because this? This is Hux giving himself over to pleasure and it’s the most beautiful thing Ben has ever seen. His muscles flex and relax with each movement, with each wicked roll of his slim hips, his thighs tense when he lifts himself up until only the tip of Ben’s cock remains in him and there’s a fine sheen of sweat on his skin. When he lets his head fall back and exposes his throat, Ben looks at the mark he’s left right underneath the Adam’s apple. Lust and possessive pride surge through him and he starts thrusting up.

Hux stops moving and puts a hand on his stomach, stills him.

“Not yet,” he says. “I want to show you something first.” He reaches for Ben’s hands. “That mind-thing you do?”

“Yes?”

“Do it now.”

“What?” Ben frowns, confused. Hux hates mind probes. “Why now?”

“Just –,” Hux draws a deep breath. “Just do it. Please.”

They lock eyes and Ben reaches out. Hux’ mind is as it always is. A vast ocean of well-organised knowledge and facts. Some new things, too, not yet properly labelled. Probably to do with what’s happened during the time they were separated. He will not touch them. He wants to hear it from Hux himself. And there, in a far corner, is the blind spot. But it’s not blind anymore, no longer shrouded.

Hux gives him an encouraging nod.

“Go ahead. Please. I want you to see.”

So he taps inside. There’s memories of a childhood long gone, happy moments so far in the past they’ve nearly faded, a pair of smiling blue eyes. It’s all very touching and one day he will ask Hux what it all means to him but right now? He can’t see what’s it to do with them, here, in bed together and why Hux wants to show him now. He starts pulling back and that’s when he sees it. It overwhelms him and floods him until his whole body hums with it. He's had a glimpse of it before but that hasn't prepared him. Not for… this.

Hux twines their fingers together.

“Ben,” he whispers.

 _Ben_.

Ben comes with a broken sound. Above him, Hux stiffens and follows him with a hoarse shout and together, they tumble.

Only, this isn’t falling. Not anymore. Never again.


End file.
